My Heart in Color

This Christmas my housemates decided we would paint our own Christmas tree ornaments. My painting experiences have consisted of water and a pre-colored "paint book" that was like a coloring book but required water only. There was no going out of the lines. No contemplating what color or brush to use. No thinking about it. Just water. You didn't even have to use a brush...you could use your finger or a cotton ball as long as it was wet.

As I sat at the table in the kitchen I found myself stumped, frozen and a bit anxious as I stared at the inside of a blank pop tart box. Bethany, Joel, and Hannah had already graced the Christmas tree with their beautiful, colorful, creative, abstract creations...all I could think is I have no idea what I'm doing. I have no clue where to even start. I remember closing my eyes and thinking...this is to celebrate You. I want to enjoy this. I want this to be a reflection of You in me.

In that moment an idea came to mind. Memories of my birthday came flooding back. Camping on the beach...shooting stars...red moon...waves... I had no idea what I was doing. Yet I knew exactly what I was doing. I knew what colors to use...what brushes to use...how to use them...and the result was a pretty good image of what my heart felt and remembered from that night. I still don't know how I did it. As I looked at it all I could think was what just happened? It was my heart in color. It felt as if I had been writing...the vulnerable openness I feel after journaling. It was incredible. I thought what next...the moment I did my first snow angel(since childhood) came to mind...and the colors came together...the brushes made their strokes...and when all was said and done I gazed at the end result in awe. He had done it again...somehow in the midst of my ignorance and inexperience He showed me how to express my heart in color.

There is nothing impossible for Him. I told a friend recently...I am pretty ordinary. I am a lot like the guys He choose to be His disciples. Someone that is plain and ordinary, ignorant in a lot of ways really... Because of my mediocrity His beauty, love, wisdom, grace radiate like the sun through me. His stunning creativity and abilities are unmistakable. Because of Him I am anything but ordinary...plain...mediocre...boring... This Christmas He gave me a gift. He opened my eyes to the truth of me. Anything is possible. I can no longer say I don't know how to paint. I can't even begin to fathom what He's got in store. I mean if I can paint... What else am I capable of??? There is no limit. No impossibility. No boundary.

This is the my very first painting-the night of my birthday.

This is my second painting. My snow angel-the first time He opened my heart to beauty.

This is my first canvas painting. Inspired by Genesis 1:2

This is my second canvas painting. Inspired by the song How He loves-Glorious Unseen(He is jealous for me. He loves like a hurricane and I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.)